knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

Roses are red, I'm tired... I think I'll lie down now

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

I’m on the new Seefood Diet… I can only eat Fish or shell fish

why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

-_- i like trains ... -_-

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

bologna

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

Why did the Police Officer pull over the black man? The black man was not following the rules of the road and accepted the ticket with great remorse. The Officer then proceed to pull over a white man for this very same offence.

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

an orange and an apple are both in a fruit bowl, the apple says nothing as its an apple and apple's cant speak its just an apple

Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...