What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

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What do you call a black man on steroids? Strong.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face? the skeleton replies I have aids.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

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Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

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Why did Sally's Ice Cream melt? Sally was on Fire

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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What time is it when a cow walks into your house? The time that your mother arives.

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how do you decrease the unemployment figures? abolish lidle, aldi, and netto

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What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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Why was the woman riding a camel? Because woman aren't allowed to drive in her country therefore she rides a camel as a way to commute. The camel's name is Gregory.

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Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

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Yo momma is so fat, when she wears a bathing suit, people are like, wow, that woman is fat.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

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A Polish man is walking down the street carrying a brown paper bag. He runs into one of his buddies, who asks, "Hey! What's in the bag?" The man tells his friend that he has some fish in the bag. His friend says, "Well, I'll make you a bet. If I can guess how many fish you have in the bag, you'll have to give me one." The man replies, "I'm sorry, my friend, but gambling is against my morals, especially when my family's only nutrition for the week is on the line."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops