two elderly men were sitting in the sun discussing their lives. The first man says "my life was horrible as I had to walk to work uphill in the snow with no boots on a daily basis" The second man looks at the first and replies "you know why my life was horrible?.. I was born a jewish man in Germany during the second world war and was injustly judged and harrassed nearly to death on a daily basis"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats Black and White and Red all over ? A Zebra laying in a pool of its own blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Transgenders! More than meets the eye! Transgenders! Girl was once a guy! LGBTs wage the battle to destroy The homophobic forces of Christianity! Transgenders! Homos in disguise!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

69

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the douche bag get for Christmas? Your girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

thumb_up thumb_down +22

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Titanic with will smith. Girl: I wont ever let go of you. Leo: Drowns. Smith: Move your fat ass over girl, there is like room for me and fifthy kids there yo! Me: Bitch if you need to float on a piece of wood where six of us could fit, im gonna drown you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

men, men like men= men+bed

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops