Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting anally raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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Whats worse being raped by jack the ripper or being fingered by captain hook

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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What's worse than loading babies into a garbage truck. Answore: unloading them with a pitch fork.

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sex with dead people. they can't say no;)

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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Why Was Mary Short? She Had No Legs.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops