Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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That other group is a *********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** From Jackson Edwards

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

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Where is my tractor?

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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if japanese cars are called riceburners would german cars be called jewburners

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Sonic

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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