Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

why didnt the mouse go for the cheese on the mouse trap it is proven that mice dont actually really like cheese all that much.

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

Why Do Black Men Like Koolaid Because its red

your mommy so gehto shes black

What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

68

why did the boy fall down? he was shot

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Trees are brown.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...