Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? "Men, get on the ship."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why are asians so smart? Because they study very hard and learn the material.

thumb_up thumb_down

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many polish people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -One

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops