Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops