A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

thumb_up thumb_down +83

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops