Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a canary! Yes, you are.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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A theif walks into a blonde ladies apartment. The theif takes all of her valuable belongings, leaving her life in shambles.

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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