Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

So you there Red?

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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