I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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why was the boy sad? his friend got hit by a bus.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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if you read this you are gay

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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An Englishman, a Frenchman and a German strand on an island. Searching the jungle, they fall into a trap. They get painfully killed and eaten by the cannibals.

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20

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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