HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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Why does Mike Tyson always win his fights? Because he hides in a refridgerator

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What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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