Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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America

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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Women's Rights.

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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why was the little girl afraid of the dark because she was brutally raped in the dark when she was 4.

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sexual intercourse.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Are you a tree? No.

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Where is my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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