Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you see stevie wonders new house? No. Well he hasnt either

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the picture say to the man? Don't frame me

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor? -Cody Williams

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A baby seal walks in to a club... That's it. That's the joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

thumb_up thumb_down -49

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

thumb_up thumb_down -103

What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So a frog and a penguin were talking and the frog says, " I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is we're freezing, but the good news is: We have a conoe!".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the bird fall out of the tree?" "Because it was dead?" "No. Becaus it was stapled to the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops