I have no soul so I must consume yours

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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69

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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