Knock knock Who's there doorbell Doorbell who Doorbells can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops