why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

America

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

*Knock knock* Who's there? Stab.

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Muslim guy look nervous and sweaty when the plane took off? Because he is claustrophobic. Racist fucks

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -194

What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So you there Red?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats first than finding a worm in your apple? a blonde who asks you why there is a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops