Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mamma's so fat, she died of diabeties and we all mourn her loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Uh, "Abel", seriously get over here and then get some sleep, not only did you get the code all wrong, there is no number to be deciphered at all, besides its called a laptop with a battery. Speaking of general dumbass... You have not changed the least, you really remind me of a cruel, sloppy, less disciplined (except the wise cracking thing Nero resorted to to push me away and apparently dodge gun fire, maybe his way of handling nerves. You might look like him, but personality wise you are completely different, cruel, sloppy, graphical, I mean did you ever see Nero get angry? I never did. That said Neo-Nero, you are a nice guy too, especially if you get here fast enough, I mean this place is freezing.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Three men walked into a bar. They looked around, saw that it was pretty crowded, and decided they'd feel more comfortable going somewhere a little less busy down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You wanna hear a real joke? Well, look at the post below this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops