What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you make a doctor upset? Teabag his dying mother

thumb_up thumb_down -58

If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

thumb_up thumb_down +11

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

thumb_up thumb_down -129

How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

thumb_up thumb_down +42

how do u piss of a polish man? rape his girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops