roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

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Miley Cyrus.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops