Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Once there was a man, he was accused of false accusations.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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The Olympics

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy mad? A: He dropped his ice cream. Q: Why was the boy in pain? A: Because a clown was ripping off the boys big toes with a hacksaw, all the while causing the small boy emotional pains by killing the boy's orange cat.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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So you there Red?

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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