Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Miley Cyrus.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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If a man without hands is called a handicap, what do you call a man without legs? A handicap.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops