Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Do you know what does Wikipedia says about Elton John ? It says that Sir Elton Hercules John, CBE (born Reginald Kenneth Dwight; 25 March 1947) is an English singer-songwriter, composer and pianist. He has worked with his songwriting partner Bernie Taupin since 1967; they have collaborated on more than 30 albums to date.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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what is brown and shaped like a tree?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue And you will be too when i'm done with ya

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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Two Irish men walk into a bar, order a drink and sit down to enjoy the drink and friednly conversation.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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How do you keep a black guy out of your backyard? You tell him "STAY OUT"

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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Yes.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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