What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

Knock Knock? Who's their. M. M who? Me.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, shes already been told twice

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

After Fighting Apollo creed. Rocky screams ADRIAN!!!! After 3 days of cardiac arrest he realises that ardian is a fregment on his imagination

I'm hungry.

How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

cats are afraid of dogs. mice are afraid of cats. elephants are afraid of mice. bf-2 fighter jets are afraid of elephants. is this true?

PATHETIC

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

one day a grape was in the sun raisin

Did you hear about the man who fell out of an aeroplane at 2000 feet? He was taking part in a charity skydive to raise money for his dying brother, a chronic sufferer of cystic fibrosis.

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

What kind of "room" can you not enter? One with a locked door.

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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