there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was tied to the chicken

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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Yes.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Why did the plane crash into a mountain? Because a Banana was flying it, and Bananas can't fly planes.

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head were walking on the side of the road and a fridge landed on them and they died. At least they still could go to their funerals.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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