What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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a black man jumps in a pool.

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Guy 1: Ever heard of Ethiopian food? Guy 2: No habla espanol... Guy 1: Oh....

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing. Hitler died many years ago now and he was in no position of power during Bin Laden's reign of terror due to the fact that he was already dead. Therefore it is impossible that they could have had any sort of conversation. But now Bin Laden is dead as well. HIGH FIVE!!!!!!!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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Q: What did the teen mom put her newborn daughter up for? A: Adoption

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What do u call a black polar bear? A black bear

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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What's red and invisible? No Tomatoes

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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What's broken to the side of the road and covered in cookie crumbs? A girlscout that got hit by a car.

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Why did the football player go to the bank? He had to make a deposit and refinance his home.

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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A man called his dentist and asked when he should make an appointment. The dentist told him to come in around two thirty pm because that's when the next appointment was available.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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