Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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So these two gay guys walk backwards into a bar.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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What has feathers, and is known to fly? A bird

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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