What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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What did the clerk say and do when he was givng out free food What he did:Gave them What he said:"If you want to get this free, pay $5.00"

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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A blonde brunette and redhead all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? The brunette because she jumped first

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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