How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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boobs

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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If a tree falls in the forest and it does it make a sound? No, Trees can't talk

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A padawan walks into a bar. He is promptly ridiculed by his master for not minding his surroundings.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

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What do you get when you cross a blond with a plank of wood? A blond with a plank of wood on her head.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was black

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

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Why did Sally drown? She wasn't wearing a life jacket and it was the the seventh time she had fallen off her water skis today. Her father was not coming back this time.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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