A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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