Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

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69

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

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Did you hear the one about the Gay Irish Politician who was running for President?! He withdrew his candidacy.

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Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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A man took his son out to play catch. The boy didn't even try to catch the ball. After that the man took his son to the amusement park to have fun. The boy didn't even try to have fun. Then the man took his son to the burger place nearby. Once again the son didn't even touch his food. Finally the man lost his temper and beat his seemingly ungrateful son and cried over the fact that his son was mentally retarded.

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You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

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What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

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Justin Bieber.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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My friend told me to break a leg before the show. I disobeyed him and injured no one. It's just a figure of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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