What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting rape.d by a giant scorpion.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Fat people.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Whats brown and sticky? A massive shit.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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385

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set. Cuz she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges don't talk

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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