What did santa say to the little girl on Christmas Eve? Santa isn't real, but pedophiles are.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Advice from a pro: Don't be a faggot

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing you already told her twice

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Justin Bieber

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Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Comfortably, four.

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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What's 7+7? 14 you dumbass

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A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What did I write on this website? This antijoke.

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Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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