2 polar bears are standing on a chunk of ice that is floating in the Arctic Sea. One turns to the other and says, 'Dyu know; I keep thinking it's Thursday...'

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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No Mom! No! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!

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Why did my cat die? I drowned it in the bath.

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

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Apple.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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Mexicans are like waffles

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What's worse than being a Packer Fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... oh, wait....

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

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How many licks does it take for a pedophile to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Given a simple random sample of pedophiles, they will most likely have the same statistical standard normal distribution of tongue sizes and saliva efficacy as any other part of the population. Therefore, that question in regards to the tongues of pedophiles is irrelevant and remains unanswered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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