What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? He was hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

thumb_up thumb_down -155

When you wish upon a star... ... you're actually a few million years late, according to astronomy. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Dont look at me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

thumb_up thumb_down -42

The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

thumb_up thumb_down +63

The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Jordan miss the bus? The bus didn't miss hitting him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't Joe have any friends? Because according to Thomas Hobbes man is anti-social by nature and therefore the only friends that he has are purely to reach his own ends and thus Joe cannot truly have friends in the sense that many use the word.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops