What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

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Paige

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Bob fell off his roof.

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A man walks into a bar.... no wait! It's a horse! A man walks into a horse...

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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Jews...

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Whats even funnier than watching two black guys with guns attempting to shoot people Just about everything

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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You're a wizard Harry! I am?

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-I once had a dog with no legs, and do you know how I named him? -...? -I didn't name him, he wouldn't come...

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Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Why did the black man get the grape soda? It was the only soda left.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops