Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

Two ducks are sitting on washcloths in the middle of a lake. One duck looks to the other and asks, "hey, do you have any soap?" to which the other duck responds, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?"

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

Fat people.

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

What did the white cop say to the black thug? he didn't... he got shot before he could say anything

How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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