Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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Q. How do you blindfold a Chinese man? A. With a blindfold.

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why did Winston Churchill cross the road? Grave robbery has become a huge problem lately in the United Kingdom.

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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What is Oedipus' favorite tv show! How I Met Your Mother

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Penis-biter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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