Where's my baby??

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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What did the boy born with cancer get for christmas? ... More cancer

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind.

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

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Q:Why didnt the stoner go to college? A:Because he died of lung cancer.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my eye. I get abused.

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Winter

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elen degeneres is straight....

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Yo momma so pretty,she gets a lot of compliments.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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