Q:What's better than getting 500 million dollars A:Nothing

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

So does Blake

What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

What do you call a cold chicken? A Raw Chicken.

What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

there once was a man from Afghanistan. Who wanted to bang his brother-istan. they licked and sucked. and kissed then f**ked, he got aids. and never did that-again!

What do Jesus, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus all have in common? Their middle names are all Larry.

Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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