Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen? An ejaculating penis.

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Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

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Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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What do you call an unfunny comment that demeans a group of people? Bigotry

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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I have a gay camel

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People Order Our Patties

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. Wats worse then biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an eggplant and finding half a worm, as eggplants are usually more expensive so you will have wasted more money and would probably not be willing to eat the rest. And eggplants taste like shit.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Why did the banana rot? Because it didn't have any gills.

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Q: What's wrong with being gay A: Nothing is wrong with anybody because we're all human

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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