An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Nickelback

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Friends are like potatoes, If you eat them, they will die.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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womens rights.

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Q:Whats worse than you touching yourself at night A: The holocaust

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue This poem makes no sense Trampoline

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What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? I didn't say anything because it isn't living and it can't talk because it is impossible.

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what's white and goes up? a retarded snowflake

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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