What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What's worse than World War II? World War III.

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Why do cats have eyes? So they can see.

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Why was the dog crying? Because his owners hated him and called him stupid.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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Why are rich people so rich? they're not poor.

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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