what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

So there were two... sigh... I hate my life....

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

what's brown and sticky A stick!

Why didnt little timmy have a pencil? He was poor

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

Whats the quickest way to get famous? kill the president

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

what happen to the popo who got arrested? he told himself that he had the right to remain silent

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

Why does it take 7 years for Harry Potter to kill Voldemort? Voldemort is a very powerful wizard and Harry Potter is just learning magic at the beginning so he is not prepared to fight him.

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

Loner.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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