Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

What's circular and round A circle

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Today i started to think lucas was homosexuaI.. I am scared

What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Your mum is so dead, when I kick her she doesn't move.

What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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