"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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#Hanging Degus

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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Grammer is very important

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Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

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womens rights.

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What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

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whats the difference between ebola and a can of dead babies? i have ebola. this isnt funny at all.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

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Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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