It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Tunechi

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's old and baggy? An old bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Morning wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops