Morning wood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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roses are red but violets are definately violet what retard made this rhyme

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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Tunechi

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet. The man who wrote this, Was high as shit.

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I'd like to make this joke funnier but I can't. It's stupid. I don't even like it.

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What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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What did the white man say to the black man? Hi i'm Steve, it's nice to meet you

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Q: What happened when Paul couldn't decide on Pornhub or Redtube. A: nothing since he doesn't have a d***

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says, "I'm Japanese!" The second man says, "I'm Japanese too!" The bartender says, "I'm also Japanese!" The bar was in Japan.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

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It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

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YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

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Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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