justin beiber has a penis hahahahahahhaah lol not really

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want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

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A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

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What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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What happens when a black guy roles over a speed-bump? I don't know. I have never tried it

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What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Did you hear about the guy who did a backflip off the cliff? He died

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How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for him. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed Nextel to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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