What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hey you want to here a joke? I can't think of one

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him Food Stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats white and all over my room? paint

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

thumb_up thumb_down -194

I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

You know you are from New York when you live in Manhattan.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a man walks into a bar, his alcoholism is slowly destroying his family

thumb_up thumb_down +21

3 guys walk into a bar to tell an anti joke. The bartender asks them to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

68

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops