Why was the lady fat. She ate a lot of food.

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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How do you make a baby cry? Break its legs.

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Guy: If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I would put I and u together. Girl: Really because if I could r-arrange the Alphabet I would put f and u together

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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170

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What is it called when a black man does cocaine? A felony.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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