Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

A man walks into a bar. He had to leave promptly because he, according to the law, was too young to be served alcohol.

What did Jerry Sandusky do when he was alone with 3 little boys? Taught them how to play football.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted honey. Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to get to his house. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stupid.

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

Knock, Knock Whose there? your friend Oh ok (opens the door) (it was not his friend but instead it was a giant panda who robbed him of his goods).

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

call of duty world at war

Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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