A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

Why is the kid over-weighted? Because he had to many calories in his diegestive system and he couldn't burn the calories

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

Q: Whats worse than 17 babies in 1 bin. A: 1 baby in 17 bins. Q: Whats worse than that. A: 17 bins in 1 baby.

Anyone reading this I'm not writing anything Kevin

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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