If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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On a plane directed to Buffalo there are: an italian, a french and a greek. They all go there for tourism

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What happened when an atheist burned down the home of a priest? He was arrested, charged with arson and sentenced to 5 years in prison.

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house No? Neither has he!

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What smells like shit and is covered in cheese? Sean's pizza socks.

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Dont look at me.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Are you a tree? No.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Well, she did.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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Quizno's footlongs are four dollars...

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How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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Why was 15 afraid of 16? Coz 16 was bigger than him.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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