Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: Look in a Dictionary.

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A: Ask me if I'm a truck. B: Are you a truck? A: No.

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I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69. And she said, “No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night.”

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Are women better than men? Dont know but what we do know is they swing at bigger balls (softballs), shoot from lower basketball nets, do pushups from their knees. Shall I go on?

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You

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Fred. Hello Fred.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's actually much safer to look through the peep hole than it is to let a stranger know you are home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops