the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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why did tom get HIV? He was raped by a giant scorpion

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Q: what did the tractor say when helost his farmer? A: wheres my farmer?

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Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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Women's Rights.

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My dad went into Home Depot, he went in to get garage door part, he took an hour and came back out with three things.

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap? Because they're extinct

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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