I was sitting in traffic the other day. I got ran over

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has Obsessive Complusive Disorder.

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What did the girl fruit say to the boy fruit when he wanted to marry her? "No."

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I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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What's worse than seeing your grandma naked. nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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So you there Red?

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Well, as you know, I have alzheimers and... ... ... ... ... ... Well, as you know, I have alzheimers.

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Where is my tractor?

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Why would someone smile at a tumble weed? I don't know, it's an inanimate object.And is ugly Just like the couch in the basement in That 70's Show.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Cuz the chicken crossed the road

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Whats the difference between an oven and a Jew? An oven is a manufactured and creates heat through the power of electricity or natural gas

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

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You

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Well, honestly I don't know how I feel about meeting you yet, or chatting with you, I never believed I would get to speak, or even less meet "The Nero", I mean as far as I know, nobody that ever worked alongside you ever has... ...By the way, the thing with the metal arm, well I don't have both arms, so yeah, story of my life. I am "Eliza" here too, its not coding, its just me sharing my real part of my life with our followers, and well, they do not make much sense out of it, but I get to share the tale about how Nero saved me, if not in person.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops