Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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A twelve year old walks into a bar. How Tragic

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What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind kid get on his birthday? Cancer.

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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when ever i finish a sentence say im a man Me :i met a girl You:im a man Me: i invited her to my place You: im a man Me: we sleept together You:im a man Me:she wisperd in my ear You: im a man

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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I hate it when i don't forward an email and then i die the next day.

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops