Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research.

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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1,984

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Q: Why were the two elephants kicked off the beach? A: They were both level 4 sex offenders.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Scout? The Scout gets to come home from camp.

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Why was the brick acting yellow? No, because it's allowed via Tuesday.

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Why did the car slam its brakes on? There was a infant under the bonnet.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Your mother is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror she feels bad about her appearance.

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9/11/01 was a terrible day I got dirt on my suit when touring NY

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Your mama is so fat that when she walks her legs rub against each other

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Yo mama so fat she sells shade. Yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for wii fit. Yo mama so fat she in call of duty when a player kills her they get a 5 person kill streak. Yo mama so fat that she is fat. :)

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Are you a tree? No.

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Whenever anybody asks me to help me find something they lost, I say: "Look where it is and you will find it."

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What do you do when a bear chases you? Run.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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