Why does Shaun's dad beat him? Because Shaun is an asshole.

Knock Knock? Who's there? The police The police who? I'm sorry mam but your husband is dead.

When does the narwhal bacon? When the universe looses its realism to the point where every animals' meat is bacon at a certain time, and a person hunts a narwhal at the crack of dawn when there is a triple rainbow and the narwhal's DNA is combined with a pig's just long enough for the meat to be bacon when the person shoots it.

What do old people really like? Anal sex.

Society.

why do bananas wear sunscreen? becuase they peel!

What do you call an owl that is a magician too? Owls cannot be magician you retard.

call of duty world at war

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

A horse walks into a bar the barkeeper asks 'Why the long face?' The horse, incapable of speaking English, walked around in a circle, excreated and left.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

I have no soul so I must consume yours

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

Who gave Max head georgia Hidi

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

A man walks in to a wooden door. He's blind.

What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

1: Why did the chicken cross the road? 2: The chicken has a right to privacy, stop questioning what she does

It's not just me bomber, Kane Aodhan and kevin are all posting stuff too so SBB!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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