What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +183

The dog buried it's bone. The next day it unburied it, and chewed on it until it was wrecked.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What does Megatron say when a video game takes forever to load? "You have failed me yet again, Start Screen!"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Whats blue and fuzzy? blue fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

When life gives you Corn Nuts, snack on them while watching your favorite TV show. Then go to sleep early and have a nice, peaceful rest, dreaming about the fun things you'll do tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handle bars except for the duck

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So this guy is driving down the road and he is going real slow, he was going so slow in fact he wasn't even moving, because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the moron jump through the window?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does a spider write its diary entries every night? With a pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a nigga!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops