How'd the little kid get down the stairs when nobody was home? He fell down thhem.

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A penguin is driving through Arizona when his car's oil pressure light comes on. He drops his car off with a mechanic who says he'll get to it soon, and to come back in an hour. The penguin leaves the garage and, seeing a Baskin-Robbins across the street, stops in and orders a dish of ice cream. As he eats the ice cream he reflects on the series of extraordinary events that led him to this place, this time, this situation.

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Why did the boat sink? It ran into an iceberg.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They discuss politics and time travel.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he has no arms or legs. Why doesn't he have any arms or legs? Because he is a potato.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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what sucks? things that suck

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what do you call a cow? A cow

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Guess what i realized when i became 18? I was 18

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Roses are red, violets are blue Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Simon says; "You're adopted."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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