I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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You don't need to know a girls period schedule. Just look in the garbage.

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whats long black, eight inches and sometimes has white on the tips of them? a black mans foot the wears an eight inch shoe.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? When you have an appointment.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Why wasn't the bat nocturnal? It was dead.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizza is not a group of people but in fact a dish originating in the Middle East.

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A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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How do you call a black man? By his first name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the farmer cross the road? To pick up the dead chicken

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Where was Sally when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.

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roses are grey violets are grey im colorblind but your face is still black!!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

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Why couldn't the asian drive the car. He was underage and did not have his license yet.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops